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Jiggsaw Reflections Series 005

Recovery Requires Honesty

Recovery from an eating disorder or mental health issue demands honesty – brutal honesty. Just as your eating disorder demanded deceit, you must do the exact opposite for you to get well.

I dabbled with the truth, I faked it, I covered it up, I pretended, I bullshitted my way through it at times. In my darkest days, my eating disorder was so convincing, I believed it myself.

The truth can be a bitch at times. It’s be why we try to hide it, numb it, distract ourselves by using unhealthy behaviours. Sometimes living out an ‘alternative reality’ is just how we get through the day.

An ‘alternative reality’ though, is not sustainable. It became tiresome. I wanted to be me, I wanted to be accepted and loved as the person I was, not some fictional being my eating disorder had created.

I had to be honest with myself and others. I had to open the wounds in order for me to heal them. Occasionally, I find myself still wanting to be selective with the truth, but it doesn’t sit well with me anymore.

Gone are the days when the white lies would roll off my tongue, just to protect my ED. Now, I have no intention of wanting to engage in its sneakiness. I like my reality, I like the real me, I like the real world. Cliché as it is, honesty really is the best policy.