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‘Jiggsaw Reflections Series 008′

“I’m Not Good Enough”

Who knew we actually had to be enough? I hear this time and time again in conversations amongst friends, family and colleagues.

* Am I good enough at my job?
* Am I a good enough wife or husband?
* Am I a good enough mum, dad, daughter, son?
* Am I good enough at my job?
* I wasn’t good enough for them.
* I’m not good enough to deserve help.
* I will never be enough for him.
* She left me because I wasn’t good enough.

Any of these sound familiar? Who set these standards? Is ‘enough’ the same for everyone all over the world?

I’ve said and felt “not good enough” countless times, but a few weeks ago, in a moment when I was about to say the words to myself for the billionth time…I stopped.

I stopped because I realised that it’s not my problem to own. I thought about what I actually meant by ‘enough’ and was at a loss. I realised that it’s been a message that I’ve internalised from a young girl. I heard my mum say it throughout my child and adult life I’ve heard friends and colleagues say it. It’s a phrase cemented in our culture, but it means very little in reality.

Can you really define what makes a person “enough”? The concept of “enough” is essentially undefinable. The boundaries are vague and closed.

I encourage you to question where your definition of “enough” came from? Spend less time searching for what might be ‘enough’ and more time exploring why you might feel like this. Ask yourself, if these are the standards and values you set for yourself, or have you inherited them. Your answer may well lie in listening to your inner voice, and letting go of the external noise around you.