I Don’t Know Who I Am

“I feel worthless most days. I feel as if I have betrayed everyone’s trust and belief. My mum died when I was 16, and I feel my mother would spite me if she knew what my life had become. I feel like I exist, but I am not truly alove. I feel most days are wasted. I feel like my dad resents me. I feel judged and forgotten. I feel like a coward. I feel like god has damned me for sins unbeknowns to me. I feel like suicide would solve all my problems.

Some days I feel like everything’s ok. I feel like nostalgia. I feel like my fanily is there for me. I feel like I can accomplish my hopes and dreams. I feel valued. I feel my mother’s still here and encouraging me to do everything I can. I feel sociable. I feel alive. I feel that regardless of the future everything will be fine.”

Anonymous, London