I Feel Sick In This Environment

“I am trying my hardest to eat but I am so stressed, angry, lost and upset, I feel like it’s the only thing I can do to take control…to restrict. I don’t want to fall back into this hole, I just did so well, but I’m so miserable.
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I am in my final year of school and just in one month my Dad packed his bags and left to find his luck. Quoting him: “I am just 50 so it’s not too late to find love again.”
 Honestly I don’t even know what to feel. My parents have always been cold. My psychologist said I am probably the only thing holding them together since they can invest their issues in me.
 
I just want them to be happy. But I hate my dad for just going like that, and I can’t stand my mom unleashing her anger on me.
 
Funny enough it always been that way. My dad runs away from issues. My mom puts her negativity on me and my sister in extremes. Either over-controlling us to a point of stalking or just rage to feel better.
 
So now my dad is trying to buy my love and my sis with money and gifts, and my mom is digging her claws into me for one or the other reason.
 
Don’t get me wrong I love them. But I kinda start to see why my therapist told me it’s probably them why I have mental health issues, and feel sick in this environment.”

Marvin Yves, Germany @schmetterlings.syndrom