Imperfections and flaws are what makes us who we are.
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My strive for perfection drove me to the point of almost no return.
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I felt ready and wanted to go. It was my time to meet the stars.
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No longer could I live this life, I was not worthy of breathing, but God told me I still had more to learn.
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1,2,3 times. No success.
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I simply wanted to rest.
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An inability to love thyself, a knowledge of no self-worth. I did not feel blessed.
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Why was I me? Who was Lucine?
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Why must I exist when I know the world doesn’t need me?
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No, I am not foolish, I simply serve no purpose you see.
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Then one day I felt more than simply the pain and anguish in me.
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I felt the hurt of the world, the distance of humanity.
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Suddenly, time stopped. Yes, good and evil must coexist.
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But perhaps I could do something to increase the good.
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To make others feel worthy, to believe in even myself.
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That is my mission in this world, it is why my time to go did not come.
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I must make my mark on the world.
I must lead the life others need me to lead.
For those gone before me, for those that’ll go after me, I am everything and nothing at the same time.
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But this journey has only just begun.
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Self-love will one day come.
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For by the time I reach my destination, I’ll truly be home. At peace and at home, in love with all my imperfections.
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Lucine, London