My Recovery Is About Pleasure

“After school my mum would always take me to the shops and I would get a packet of Rolos. They were my absolute favourite thing. I never understood why anyone would give away their last one! I scoffed the lot, but often felt guilty afterwards.
 It’s funny how my eating disorder developed. In my anorexia I was always giving away food. I donated plenty of meals to the garden, the dog and the toilet. One treatment centre I went to was for all addictions, and my friend who was recovering from alcoholism would relieve my plate of food while the staff weren’t looking. 
There’s so much talk these days about avoiding sugar and sweet things and it really annoys me. When did food become so associated with guilt and shame? It’s saddens me. I love still love Rolos and if I decide to eat all of them, then I’m totally cool with that. No shame, no guilt, just enjoyment of a yummy snack that reminds me of after school. 
I really don’t need to label myself a pig for enjoying something, anything. Experiencing pleasure is what my recovery is all about.

Kyley Jenson, UK