Yeh It Was Me

“It was me biiisssssshhhh!

Yeh I stole your darn sandwich. I didn’t even eat the thing. It’s still in the trunk.

So sick of you paradin your heiny all round the office like ‘what, look at me, aint I swell’

No, you god damn aint.

And I swear to the lord if I see another one of ya’ll Instagram posts like ‘look at my perfect life’, I’m goin ta take your damn gluten free ass cookie, and throw that mess out the window.

Instagram that biiiishhh.”

Shayna, United States